It was announced yesterday evening that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are officially separating after ten-years of marriage. Although divorce is something we are used to hearing in the world of fame, “conscious uncoupling” is a first for many.

Paltrow’s life coaches, Dr. Habib Sadeghi & Dr. Sherry Sami, say 21<sup>st</sup> century humans have longer life spans (compared with early humans) and are not biologically and psychologically set up to be with one person for the rest of their lives.

They claim that divorce is often seen as a personal failure because we believe strongly in the concept of “until death do us part”. This causes the divorce process to be viewed as a battle field where our resentment and anger take over and give way to attacking the other party.

So what is “conscious uncoupling”?

Conscious uncoupling, they say, “is the ability to understand that every irritation and argument was a signal to look inside ourselves and identify a negative internal object that needed healing. Because present events always trigger pain from a past event, it’s never the current situation that needs the real fixing. It’s just the echo of an older emotional injury.”

The life coaches say that the concept of divorce needs changing and that the way to do this would be by not viewing the relationship as a lifetime investment, but as one that is renewed daily. If we remain conscious of the fact that there are no bad guys and that divorce is a natural progression in our lives, animosity will dissolve much quicker during the separation process.

A new look to divorce

This approach certainly promotes the idea of an amicable, rational divorce. At Freeth Cartwright, we always try to approach matters in a way that will help couples come to terms with their separation harmoniously.

Judith Speed – 0845 274 6868 or judith.speed@freethcartwright.co.uk.